And since we are remembering great things from 2013, Someone posted a glowing recommendation about you once.
Edited for continuity,
"Darren is lovely and kind to kittens.
why only yesterday I heard he stopped the traffic to let a kitten
cross the road and then he found a lost puppy and took it back to its owner who just happened to be
a little old granny.
I then herd he flew to Afghanistan and single handily wiped out a Taliban stronghold by just clenching
his buttocks really hard and focusing the power of the sun off his clenched cheeks and focusing it into
some kind of super laser beam, kapowwwww.
He then came back, mowed my lawn, painted my gate, washed my car and fetched me a beer while I
shagged his g/f, all with his blessing I might add.
Later on, he picked me six winning lottery numbers, paid for the ticket and didn't ask for a penny out
of my six million quid winnings.
Oh, and he donated me a kidney as well, even though he only had the one, he said ' oh, I don't mind
going on dialysis for the rest of my life, you enjoy the kidney jonesy'
I shagged his bird again, crashed his car, burnt his house down accidentally while baking scones and
you know what? He looked up at me with those big eyes of his and said ' awwww, I can't stay mad at
you, give us a kiss you big hunky fella' , so I did, tongues and everything....."
-MrJones